wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
