remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
