If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nicole vs. Life
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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