Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
