So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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