he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
