You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
