i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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