This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How does it feel to date your dad?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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