47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
