If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
