Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
