ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
