i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize