bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
