Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
