what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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