I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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