Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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