i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
