i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize