Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
