I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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