Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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