After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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