Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
