Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
