You really coming over, don't trick.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
