I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
