And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
