Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
