well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize