Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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