Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
