before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
