dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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