i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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