He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
