I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
