Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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