I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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