This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
