New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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