Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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