I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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