You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
