Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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