i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
