I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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