We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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