So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
