my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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