Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
