I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
