If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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