Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
