I want to walk on stilts...naked
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
