so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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