i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
me + whiskey = a bad person
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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