So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
