do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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