hotel room ftw
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
