don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
