Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's never too late to be topless.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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