Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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