I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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