Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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